My favorite notebook is vintage horror comic themed. I love it so much that it’s been sitting on my desk for about a year and I haven’t written a word in it. I feel like it deserves to be filled with the best words I can come up with, spooky and weird and thoroughly original words. I’m not sure I’m good enough for this notebook.
I first ran into this problem when I was nine or ten years old. I bought a gorgeous Narnia themed notebook – hardcover! Beautiful painting on the front! Golden-edged pages! What could I possibly write down in it that would be worthy? I think I wrote a page or two of what was basically Narnia fan fiction before I abandoned the project .
This is one of the perpetual challenges I face whenever I try to write: I get so into the idea of a project that I’m afraid to sully it by turning it into a reality. I want to honor my characters/the people who live in my head by telling their stories to the best of my abilities, but I’m often convinced that my best ain’t much. So my notebooks remain empty and all my hypothetical projects live forever in Hypothetical Land. And by “forever” I mean “until I die and take them with me.”
This is not great, I know. Especially since writing is all I’ve particularly wanted to do with my life, so when I can’t bring myself to do it, I feel pointless.
Seriously, though. This is a great notebook.